...because apparently we live in China. They know what's best for us.

Someone involved in Whitney Houston's new album have decided to pull down all traces of her upcoming single "Like I Never Left" which were leaked onto YouTube earlier this week. For the sake of simplicity (this does not necessarily mean they are the responsible party), we will blame Arista Records.

Arista Records seems to be completely oblivious to the concept of VIRAL MARKETING. It's this newfangled thing where people hear new songs on YouTube and the like and become excited for and anticipate the release of new tracks by certain well-known artists. This has worked well for bands who now sell records like Ok Go and "artists" like Lily Allen and Sandi Thom.
I would like to think that Arista would like the youngins to be interested in a new track by what has historically been their biggest-selling artist. But apparently not. Apparently viral marketing is evil and cannibalizes album sales. Just like that pesky CD single that got Whitney 14 weeks at #1 with "I Will Always Love You", eh Arista? You know because they released CD singles from The Bodyguard, they ONLY sold 20 Million Copies of that album in the US. What a shame. Could've been 24 Million, you know. Damn those four million cheap bastards who didn't buy the whole album, eh?

Here's a thought: If you continue to patronize and mistrust the record-buying public, they will continue to spite you and NOT buy your records. Just because you want to force people to buy what YOU want them to buy DOES NOT MEAN THEY WILL. Oh I'm sorry. Silly me, corporate America knows what's best for you. Better than you do. You DID know that you don't want to see anyone over the age of 25 on your TV set, yes? You DID know you hated scripted television programming, yes? You DID know you like ONLY vapid hip-hop, yes? What? You're over the age of 30? Oh well you might as well go into a home anyway then. Old shit.

I've decided to start a series about the one group of artists who inspired me to sing, and get into voice and music. I may not yet have their level of success, and I may never, but they've inspired me in one way or another. A lot of these artists never achieved the level of success they should've, but looking at what's happened to the few who have had overwhelming success, that could very well be a good thing.

And to start, let's go with one of those whose success has virtually ruined her life. Whitney Houston.

Whitney's been one of my absolute favourite singers since I was a kid. The first song of hers I remember was "I'm Your Baby Tonight" when I was just turning four in 1990 (yes, I'm a youngin'. Shush.) The song was catchy, danceable, had soul, jazz, and Motown influences with an amazing voice that rose above everything else I was hearing at the time. I made my mother record every MuchMusic Spotlight she was on, and idolised her right up until the point when the drugs and smoking did her voice in. (note: I can almost guarantee all of you that the drugs are NOT what blew her voice, it's the smoking. The smoke has lowered her voice and caused her breath intake to be extremely short. Don't ever expect her to sound anywhere as good as she used to until she quits smoking.)

Whitney is a massive talent and undoubtedly one of the biggest artists in pop history. very few artists can claim a 14-week #1 single ('I Will Always Love You´, of course), and no one else can claim seven consecutive #1 pop singles in the US. But it's not all just charts, Whitney's talent is her combination of soul, power, versatility and commanding presence that reach out and grab you. Most everyone, whether they enjoy her songs or not, recognize her as an amazing talent. I had somewhat bored of her in recent years until I turned to YouTube (ahh, YouTube, what a wonderful thing you are) and uncovered a rare a capella recording of "I'm Every Woman", from the Bodyguard soundtrack. Not only did I hear her amazing gospel vocal roots shine through, but the whole tone and sound of the song shone through for me as well in a way it never had before. Ashford & Simpson are an amazing writing team in this respect, because they always build their best songs around a choral gospel base. It's something writers and producers today should really take note of, because that's where classic soul comes from. Not the crotch, but church. And I'm not even religious.

I'll leave you with that track. Listen to the very end, the end for me is the most lifting and interesting part:

I'm actually somewhat happy with the state of pop music right now. It's not perfect, but it's a relief that the Usher wannabes and their crew of half-witted no-talents are finally sodding off and allowing soul and melodies and real musicians get a word in edgewise again. It's just too bad the ringleader of this is Amy Winehouse who is currently too busy tenderizing her arms to help see this change through.

I still look back to the past however, in one area. What I like to call "Vapid Gay Pop" is still in a rut. Sure we still have Girls Aloud, but that's only the British. Anyone outside the UK is stuck with the Pussycat Dolls and the latest cyclone attention whore off Big Brother with botulism for lips. Apparently it's too much to ask for one of these girls to produce something that isn't about who ate her out for dinner last night. Half the joy of songs about sex is the nuance and romance. This is apparently lost on Miss Sherzingerator and crew. Then again, it's not like she writes the songs or anything. Nor is it like any of the other 14 Pussycat Dolls sing on the albums.

I've been listening to some early 90s pop fare as of late. I turned to an old friend, Kylie Minogue. I was at her concert in Rotterdam recently, and she not only puts on a great show, but she also sings live, well, for 100 Euro less than Madonna. Her songs also have a melody, and are about varying topics. They tell stories and create a scene, and have multiple meanings in some cases, always a good sign. Granted, a lot of this credit goes to her vast team of fantastic writers, but I give her credit for not shying away from a bit of depth with her pop.

I'll leave you with a reasonable example: "What Kind Of Fool (Heard All That Before)".



This came out in 1992 for Kylie's first Greatest Hits package for PWL. It was a completely disaster, peaking at #14 in the UK, making it at the time her second-lowest charting single, and it still ranks as her fifth-lowest showing in the UK. (with over 40 singles released to date in the UK, that's quite an accomplishment). The song was brilliant and was completely cheated due to two major contributing factors.



a) in 1992 pop was essentially dead in the UK. Kids weren't listening to it and had turned to "cooler" dance and rock music. Kylie was seen as part of the uncool 80s Stock-Aitken-Waterman stable that ate everything in the Top 10 in the late 80s and while her success continued far later than any other SAW offering and with far more consistency, any pure pop offering of the traditional SAW ilk was immediately panned and rejected by the press and public at large.

b) Kylie went through a more dramatic bout of what's happening right now in her career. After a long period of constant success, she'd become what the radio would call "burnt", meaning the public had tired of her constant presence on the airwaves, and were less interested in purchasing her records. As a result, public exposure was low for this single, and the public's growing indifference to Kylie was so bad at this point that even a performance on Top Of The Pops didn't get this single into the Top 10.

It would be really brave to cool down the sex enough on a modern pop female to make a song like this palatable. The lack of a defined gay music scene of the sort that defined 80s and 90s pop makes this even more difficult, but I still think it's possible, and I guarantee that with the right person singing and the right promotional push, this song can easily become a huge hit. It's a shame it wasn't in 1992.

An excerpt from a reply I posted on "The Critical Condition" regarding the poster child for warped attitudes on homosexuality:

Personally, I think it's definitely got a hint of negative gay message in it. Consider her last single, "UR So Gay", where she lists off about 20 stereotypically effeminate characteristics of her ex-boyfriend, then proceeds to tell him "You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys". Essentially equating homosexuality in men as being inherently synonymous with emasculation. She seems to have a real set of hangups surrounding homosexuality that I really don't understand, although they're really a fantastic reflection of the culture we live in. It's too bad that instead of satirizing and rising above this aspect of our society, she's essentially acting as the prime depiction of it instead.

Any opinions on this? I think my reply states it all.


(Link to the original post on thecriticalcondition.com)

Estelle attacks 'blindness to black talent'

Maybe it's not that record labels are being racist (or really care one way or another that you're black), maybe it's just that there are VERY FEW BLACK FEMALES DOING ANYTHING THAT ISN'T SHIT SNAP MUSIC.

I agree, Adele isn't really "soul music". Nor is Duffy. But if you want people to embrace you and treat you like an equal, stop accusing them of passing judgment on you every 3 seconds because of the colour of your skin. Is this the only conclusion that you can come up with as to why there are no black females doing soul music? Have you spoken with Beverley Knight lately?

I am so entirely fed up with the R&B world bumming Chris Brown. Everyone and their dog thinks he's cute and charming and so talented and such a great dancer and wah wah wah wah wah...

Enough. He is so utterly useless and unexciting I can't even begin to explain all the way in which this kid bothers me. I'm entirely convinced that he's a drone commissioned by Usher's management company to ensure that dumb 12 year old girls stay addicted to tuneless snap music in the periods between Usher albums so that he doesn't have to ever release an album of any real quality or artistic growth and still get multi-platinum albums.

I find it especially interesting that despite the fact that there IS no difference between Usher and Chris Brown other than age, no one seems to notice. Nor do they notice that the exact same comments they made bumming Chris Brown this year are the exact same ones they made about Usher 4 years ago when 8701 was re-released Confessions came out. No one seems to realize that Chris Brown apparently has no natural body shape whatsoever, being constantly housed in clothing clearly designed to fit only Ruben Studdard.

His whole persona is ridiculous. He's so macho and hip-hop and puts T-Pain on his albums (a rant about THAT clown later), and yet he poses in pictures like he came straight out of Menudo. There is no style, no class, no aspiration to be either. He's just drudge aimed at tweens, and yet patronising those same tweens all at once by feeding them unimaginative, derivative crap in an unimaginative, pre-treaded package.

If you don't believe me that every aspect of this boy's image and packaging are derivative and co-opted from others, take what the father of a friend of mine once said: "He'd be great if he just stopped dancing like a Michael Jackson impersonator."

Dear Gay Community,

You will never be fully accepted into mainstream society how you wish to be until you stop accepting groups and artists that degrade you and call for your deaths.

THIS MEANS MAINSTREAM RAPPERS!

I refuse to listen to anymore Ciara and T-Pain at the fucking gay bar. It offends my ears as well as my mind. The fact you all mindlessly listen to this shit and dance to it is so unspeakably damaging to your own cause you might as well be praising Ann Coulter and Ronald Reagan.

Thank you.